


Hope

by starmoras



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony and Nebula friendship, Tony and Peter's father son relationship, Tony and Rhodey are engaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 01:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmoras/pseuds/starmoras
Summary: Waiting was agony.Rhodey didn't know what he was waiting for, exactly. He knew that there's no way Tony could have made it. He was a dead man from the moment he stepped foot on that spaceship. But, somewhere deep down inside of him, he still held onto hope. Hope that maybe his fiancee would return to him. Hope that maybe Tony didn't die in the snap.Hope that maybe he could tell him how much he loved him one more time.





	Hope

At first, all Tony could think of was Peter. His final, hauntingly innocent last words played through his head over and over until it felt like they were embedded in his brain. The feeling of his hands desperately gripping onto his shoulders, only for them to turn to dust. He couldn't look away from the small box on his lap full of his remains, or from his hands which were covered in his ashes. Every moment he ever shared with the fifteen year old boy played back in his head, making him regret ever recruiting him in the first place.

_I don't wanna go._

As he thought of Peter with tear-filled eyes, sitting in the corner of Nebula's beaten up spaceship, the other deaths began to play through his head as well. He'll never forget the moment Mantis disappeared - the pure, terrifying fear and shock he felt in that moment when he knew they lost. Then Drax, then Quill. Those two happened too fast, he barely remembers them. Soon after that there was Strange. Tony tried to make sense of what he did, but, in his broken, shocked state, he could only feel anger towards the sorcerer.

 _Why would he save me? Why couldn't he just let me die?_  

Tony couldn't help but feel tremendous guilt placed on his shoulder. Everything was going too fast for his brain to process. He had already had multiple anxiety attacks since they lost, and he could feel more building up in chest. Tony took in a trembling sigh, putting his head down onto his folded, ash-covered hands. He took several deep breathes, trying to calm himself down. But, the second he felt the cool, cold metal of his engagement ring pressed to his forehead, it felt as if his heart had collapsed into his chest.

_Rhodey._

Sure, this wasn't the first time Tony had thought about his fiancee since Peter died. Rhodey was one of his first thoughts, actually. He knew he needed to get back to earth, to get back to Rhodey. But, until that very moment, it had never occurred to Tony that maybe Rhodey had turned to dust, too.

That newfound realization made everything in Tony's body collapse. His breathing became staggered, and his heartbeat raced up rapidly. Tony knew what was coming as the tears began to fall down his face. Clutching his hand to his chest, Tony began to think of all the others who could have died as well. Pepper. Happy. Steve. Natasha. Bruce. Thor. Everyone he had ever cared about - everyone had had ever loved - was at risk. A million thoughts began to rapid fire through his head. _What if Steve and I never make up? What if I never get to give Happy that promotion? What if I never get to tell Pepper how proud I am of her and what she's done with Stark Industries?_

_What if I never get to tell Rhodey I love him ever again? What if I never get to say "I do" at the alter?_

"Are you okay?"

Tony sucked in a sharp breath and jerked back as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Nebula quickly removed her hand from him, giving him a slightly concerned and confused look. Realizing it wasn't a threat, Tony tried to allow himself to rest. He attempted to turn his rapid breathes into slow, deep ones in order to get out a few words.

"I'm fine. Just - Just having an anxiety attack. I think that's my fourth, maybe fifth, one of the day." He reaches his hand up to pull it through his hair, only to stop as he realizes that Peter's ashes still remain on them. He wipes away a tear. "I kinda lost count."

Nebula stares down at him, not quite sure what to say. Tony didn't know quite what to think of the alien girl. She was hard and cold, but like him. They both had god-awful fathers, were part machine, and had lost someone they loved. There was a kind of unspoken connection between the two, like they were saying without words, _I understand what you're going through._

Nonetheless, two didn't really know how to communicate. They were from different worlds.

"Was he your son?"

Nebula's words surprised Tony, and struck him harshly. The image of Peter dying in his arms flashed back in his mind. He slammed his eyes shut, trying to force the image out of his mind.

"No," Tony shook his head. "He... He was just a kid with powers I decided to recruit. But he's... he _was_ so much more than that. Smart. Brave. Had a good heart. I guess... I guess I kinda wish he was my son." Tony laughs lightly, wiping away another tear. "Fuck, I'm rambling."

Nebula stares down at him, and Tony can't tell whether or not the look was sympathetic or not. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Tony breathed, looking down at the box of ashes in hands. "Me too."

The two remain quiet for a moment, awkwardness and sadness lingering through the room. Nebula breaks the silence.

 "Where exactly on Earth do you want to go?"

"Upstate New York. Avengers facility. United States." Tony eyes pan up to Nebula. "Can your ship figure that out? Does it know Earth?"

Nebula nods. "This was Thanos' ships. Two of the stones were on earth, so he made sure to map it all out. Especially places involving the Avengers." For a brief moment, Nebula stares out into the distance. "He respected you. Hated you, but respected you."

"Yeah, well, I have no respect for that genocidal maniac."

"Good. You shouldn't." Nebula walks towards the control system of the ship, sitting down in the captain's chair. She dials some numbers with her long, metal fingers on a screen, seemingly plotting their map to Earth. Tony stares at her, trying to figure her out.

"Why are you doing this?" Tony asks. "Why are you helping me?"

Nebula stares down at her hands. "I've lost everyone I care about. So I might as well help someone who hates my father almost as much as I do."

She turns around, and the two make eye contact. That unspoken connection bounces between them once again. After a few seconds, Nebula looks back to the sky. Tony does as well, knowing that whatever path they're going on, is leading them back home.

And, hopefully, back to James Rhodes.

-

Waiting was agony.

Rhodey didn't know what he was waiting for, exactly. He knew that there's no way Tony could have made it. He was a dead man from the moment he stepped foot on that spaceship. But, somewhere deep down inside of him, he still held onto hope. Hope that maybe his fiancee would return to him. Hope that maybe Tony didn't die in the snap. Hope that maybe he could tell him how much he loved him one more time.

But, this wait may last forever, as Tony may be dead and some place where no one can find him.

Rhodey tried to hold back tears, but failed as he felt the hot droplets fall down his face. He wiped them away quickly. Slowly, he pulled the silver engagement ring off his finger. He tossed it back and forth between his hands, allowing himself to smile softly as he remembered all the good memories he and Tony shared. Their first, drunk, sloppy kiss in their dorm at MIT. The night Tony first told him he loved him on the rooftop of Stark Tower. The spontaneous night he suggested they get married. The day they gave each other their rings.

He remembered the way Tony laughed so purely and so hard at Rhodey's dumb little jokes. He remembered how hard Tony's stupid jokes and cheesy pick up lines made him laugh, too.

Rhodey would give anything to hear that laugh again.

More than anything, though, Rhodey just wanted to make more memories with Tony. He wanted to plan their wedding together, and go cake tasting and venue browsing. He wanted to tell his vows to him, to show him how much he truly loved him. He wanted to buy a new house and adopt a dog. Then, one day, maybe even adopt a child.

 _Fuck,_ Rhodey thought, wiping more tears from his cheek. He shouldn't be thinking about things he could never have, and people that will most likely never be coming back to him. 

"Rhodey?"

Rhodey jerked his head to side, slightly ashamed that he had been caught crying. Steve was standing in the door frame, looking over at Rhodey with concerned, sympathetic eyes. He looked like a puppy.

Rhodey hated that look.

"Sorry," Steve said, slowly walking over to Rhodey. "I didn't know you were in here."

"It's fine." Rhodey subtly slips the engagement ring back on his finger. Unfortunately, the small movement was still enough to get Steve's attention.

"He could still be out there."

"You don't know that, Steve."

"He could still be out there," Steve repeated breathlessly. Tears were welling in the back of Steve's eyes. Despite all the conflict that emerged from Tony and Steve's friendship, Rhodey knew the two cared about each other deeply. Steve's ego and Tony's guilt just got in the way. But, now that Rhodey was here, alone, with Steve, he could tell that Steve now felt guilty, too.

"I watched Tony Stark carry a nuclear bomb into a wormhole during the middle of an alien invasion," Steve said. "And he made it out okay."

"He made it out alive, but he wasn't okay," Rhodey said. "He never slept, because every time he did, he would have nightmares about New York. He had anxiety attacks every fucking day. Thanos was destroying him from the inside, giving PTSD, anxiety, depression and god knows what. It's why he created Ultron, and then he went guilty about that, and more anxiety was loaded onto him. Then Ultron pushed him to the Accords, which pushed _you_ into fighting _him_. That made things so much worse. Do you know the anxiety he has because of that? The trust issues? The nightmares?"

Steve seemed taken aback by Rhodey's harshness. Even Rhodey was surprised at himself. He wasn't expecting to snap at Steve, not after everything that had happened. He was one of the few people he had left.

"I'm sorry, Rhodey, I didn't..." A strand tear fell from Steve's eyes, and he quickly wiped it away. "I truly didn't know about Tony's PTSD. If I did, I wouldn't have... I would have been..."

Steve seemed to be struggling to form words. "You know I never meant to hurt him, right? I would never want to hurt Tony. He was the first friend I had after I came out of the ice. He gave me the Avengers. He gave me a home." Steve sucked in a deep breath, now being shameless about the tears falling down his face. "There's nothing I want more than to tell him I'm sorry. Face to face. To let him know I regret everything."

Rhodey stared at Steve, not quite sure what to say. He opened his mouth to say something, but a voice cut him off.

"You guys are gonna want to see this."

Rhodey and Steve both turned to see Natasha.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

"There's some kind of ship, or plane, outside of the facility. We don't know who it is."

 

Rhodey and Steve both pushed themselves out of their chairs and walked out of the conference room with Natasha. 

"Where's Thor? Bruce?"

"Outside," Natasha answered.

"And the raccoon?" Rhodey asked.

"Hey, watch it, asshole, I'm not a fucking raccoon." Rocket came out from around the corner. Noticing the concerned looks in everyone's eyes, his mood shifted. "What's wrong?"

"There's a ship outside," Natasha answered. She jutted her head towards where they were heading. "Come on."

Rocket's eyes lightened. He laughed. A tear fell from his face, clinging onto his fur 

"They came."

The three Avengers shot each other confused looks, but continued on their path nonetheless, with Rocket by their side. After a minute or so of walking, the four were outside, staring at a small, beat up spaceship. Rhodey narrowed his eyebrows. This couldn't be Thanos, as he used larger, more put together ships. His eyes searched the ships for anything suspicious. But a sudden cry made everyone turn their head.

"Tony!"

The voice came from Bruce, who was standing at the entrance of the ship. He rushed into it, and Thor followed quickly. Rhodey's mouth dropped. His heart began to race. _It can't be..._

"Oh my god," Steve said. His face was void of expression, clearly not wanting to get his hopes up. Rhodey was still processing what was happening. He didn't see Tony, all he saw was a blue skinned alien woman with a metal arm. He inched closer slowly, not sure what to except. He didn't want to be let down. What if it was Tony's dead body? What if it was Tony's ashes in a box? 

But what if it was really him?

And, suddenly, he saw him.

Tony was beat to hell - dirt, blood, cuts and bruises all over his body. His eyes were empty, and his skin was tainted with tears that still seemed to be falling. He was holding a small box in his hands. He moved staggeringly, like he had been hurt. His body was shaking. Thor was helping him move off the ship, his arm around his waist. 

A million emotions sped through Rhodey at once. A large smile broke out across his face, and tears began to pour from his eyes. He was here. He was really here.

"Tony!" Rhodey said, rushing towards his fiancee. Tony looked towards him, and his mouth dropped. 

"Oh my god," Tony said. Thor slowly let go of him as he walked towards Rhodey, tears in his eyes. 

"Oh my god," Tony repeated, bringing Rhodey into a crushing hug. Rhodey wrapped his arms as tightly around his body as humanly possible. Tony buried his face into Rhodey's neck and sobbed, holding onto him for dear life.

"You're here," Tony cried. "You're here."

Rhodey ran his hand through Tony's hair, pulling him closer. "I'm here, Tony. I'm here."

The couple stayed like that for what felt like infinity, until Tony pulled away, pressing his forehead against Rhodey's. After a few moments, Rhodey pulled him into a kiss, not caring about how terrible he smelled or all the dirt he was covered in. The kiss did not last long, though, as Tony began to cry again. He pulled away from Rhodey, both of his hands now going back to the mysterious box he held in his hands. 

"I don't know what I would have done if I lost you, too," Tony said, wiping away more tears.

Rhodey gave him a teary-eyed smile. "You didn't lose me, Tony. I'm right here." 

Tony took a few deep breathes, clearly trying to hold back sobs. Rhodey reached forward to grab his hand, but Tony jerked away.

"Tony," Rhodey said, looking at the box in his hands. "What is that?"

Tears fell from Tony's face. His breathing became more rapid and staggered. Rhodey grabbed his shoulder, stablizing him. He didn't know what he expected Tony to say, but the word that fell from his mouth was not at all what Rhodey was expecting.

"Peter."

Chills ran down Rhodey's spine. "No..."

"Right in my arms. He... He was holding onto me, begging me to help. I couldn't do anything... I couldn't -"

"It's not your fault, Tony." More tears were now falling down both of their faces. Rhodey stepped forward and grabbed his hands. "It's not your fault."

"You don't know that. You don't what happened. You don't..."

"Tony."

Both Tony and Rhodey's heads turned to see Steve. He was standing to the side, clearly not knowing what to say. There were tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry -"

Tony cut him off by wrapping his arms around him. Steve was stiff, at first, surprised at the gesture, but then returned the hug. It did not last nearly as long as Tony and Rhodey's reunion - as there was still tension between the former friends - but it was enough to let them both know that they were both sorry. Tony broke away, placing his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"None of that matters anymore, Steve. None of it."

"I'm still sorry -"

"And I forgive you. That's that. I'm just glad you're here."

Steve smiled. "I'm glad you're here, too, Tony." 

Steve's blue eyes trailed down to the box in Tony's hands, that he refused to let go of. "Peter..." he said. "Was that the kid?"

Tony took a step back, blinking away tears. He practically fell into Rhodey, who put his arm around him for stability. Tony nodded, staring down at the box. Tears formed in Steve's eyes as he looked away.

"I'm sorry."

"Jesus, are those the only words in the English language you know?"

Tony's abrupt humor made the three laugh, but none of them were truly happy. Humor had always been a cover up for Tony's real emotions, and Rhodey knew this. He wrapped his arm tighter Tony, as if to say everything was going to be okay. 

"Rogers!" Thor called from a few feet away. He looked like he was interrogating the alien woman. "Can you come over here?"

Steve nodded, and gave Tony one last sympathetic look before walking over to Thor. Tony breathed in a shaky breath.

"Who else?"

Rhodey gave him a confused look. "What?"

"Who else died?"

Rhodey stared at Tony, who was refusing to make direct eye contact, still staring at the box in his hands. The memories of everyone's ashes flashed back in Rhodey's mind. He didn't like to think of that moment.

"Sam. T'challa. Wanda. Vision. Barnes."

Tony closed his eyes and jerked away from Rhodey. After a few moments, he looked over to Steve. He knew exactly what he was thinking of.

"I wish I had gotten a chance to apologize to Barnes."

"Tony, it's not -"

"Don't tell me it's not my fault, because it is." The two stare at each other for a moment, Tony finally making direct eye contact with his fiancee.

"So..." Tony said. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Rhodey answered, once again taking Tony's hands in his. "All I know is that you're okay. And that's all that matters to me right now."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

The two kiss once again, hoping that maybe the power of their love will make all their problems go away. It doesn't, but they still cling onto hope.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea what that was, but I hope you enjoyed that pure angst. This is my first fic on this site (and my first fic in a LONG time), so don't judge me too harshly :)


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